How to really screw with someone's head

One of my favorite all-time saints is Saint Ignatius of Loyola (the founder of the Jesuits).  This guy was a total stud; a military guy who also "got" the court scene, chivalry, honor, etc.  He was really a man's man.
But so were a lot of other guys (and are today). Why, hundreds of years later, are we still talking about him?
The answer is simple, yet difficult: Ignatius decided to take one of his weaknesses, his pride, and turn it into a strength.
While convalescing from a battle wound (he received the wound as one of the last defenders of the castle against the French - his enemies were so impressed with his valor, that they treated him with honor and sent him to recover at his home), he was bored and had nothing to do.  He grabbed the only two books in the household ("whaaa....?  only two books?"  hey, books were considered to be cutting edge as barely anyone even read at that time) and tried to distract himself.
The two books?
The Bible and the lives of the saints.

So where does his pride come into play?  As he read a story about St. Francis of Assisi, he would tell himself "Ha, he was good, but I could do better,"; St. Benedict?  Oh yes, a holy man, but if Ignatius had been around, well, that's another story as to how things might have turned out.

The long and short of it was that over time, Ignatius had a conversion experience.  He realized that he wanted to be a saint and he was willing to do whatever it took to become one.  One of the anecdotes that is recounted is that a dialogue between Christ and Ignatius went something like this:

Christ (C): Ignatius: Will you do something for me?
Ignatius (I): Anything, Lord.
C: It's so disappointing when  people tell me no or place conditions on their yes's.  I really appreciate your unconditional yes!
I: Well, actually, I do have one condition...
C: Oh.  Okay, I understand - what is it?
I: I want what You ask me to do to be the hardest and most difficult thing that no one wants to do.
C: I love you, man!
Okay, I may have taken a little poetic license, but you get the idea.

Full circle time: what about the title of this blog posting?  I have been spending time doing work with Habitat for Humanity; it's really interesting to see who shows up at these builds and why.  Many times, the Build Leader will ask for volunteers to do such and such task - it's not infrequent to see people turn their noses up at the requests until they find what is their thing.
Channeling my hero, I like to go up to these Build Leaders and ask them if I can help and do whatever no one wants to do.  I am also rolling this concept out in my consultancy when I talk to my customers.
Try it - you'll get a real kick; it really messes with people's assumptions.

I plan on trying the approach out in the hardest and most challenging milieu: home.

Why do you do what you do?

Catholics also refer to this topic as "Purity of Intention".
Why am I writing about this and who cares?
It's a big deal - it gets into the Big T (Trust, that is).
Why do I do something for you?  Is it because I have an ulterior motive (e.g., for you to do something for me in return or for you to NOT do something)?
Or perhaps doing something (or not doing something) leads me to be viewed in a very positive light by those around me. 
This is a topic that has recently gotten my attention and that I've been challenged to examine within myself.  In the Old Testament, the Jews were given over 600 commandments that ruled every facet of their lives.  I guess that the thought process was as follows: "If we can think of every possible scenario that a human can encounter, and structure a rule to govern it, we will always be in God's good graces."
I don't think it works that way.
Looking at my relationship within my family, as well as with professionals within the work world. It's very different.  It's more along the lines of, "How can I embody the spirit of the rules in such a way that I can respond re-actively AND pro-actively to every situation the right way?".
Whew - that's huge.
In essence, instead of memorizing a bunch of instruction manuals, you and the Instruction Manual kind of "meld" together.
If you get really good at this, ultimately, you are doing what you do for the right reasons; the intentions and actions are in total alignment (both internally as well as externally) and you can more closely approximate who you are supposed to be.  Acting (and being) this way leads to the big payoff - your congruency will result in the creation of high trust relationships because you will be seen as being a trust-worthy person.

And you will be.

First post

I thought that a first post to a blog (or anything else) should be something positive; I was tempted to write about fear (because it is so pervasive in the marketplace and the people with whom I truck), but that appears to be  pointless.  Uncertainty is scary, but the lack of control we have over our lives is actually liberating.  Let me give you an example: in a religious institution (convent, abbey, monastery, etc.) the lives of the religious are governed by a rule or law that they voluntarily choose to impose upon themselves.  Once they join this community, they give up all pretense that they control their lives (I say 'pretense' because to think we control our lives is an illusion).  When that 'letting go' occurs, the religious no longer have to worry about what time they need to get up, eat, work, etc.  It's right there for all to see.  Any changes get made by someone else and then communicated to the rest of the community.

So what about the rest of us? We don't live in a closed community, strictly speaking, but we do live in a larger community called society with its own very specific set of rules and norms.  Understanding those rules are what make all the difference between chaos and order as well as being mediocre or excellent.  Those "social leaders" that can read the crowd and lead them in a direction that is godly and not mob rule determine the course of history.

What choice will we make each day when we wake up?